It’s Friday! So, let’s do something fun for today’s article. I was thinking, while watching a movie the other day, how easily some movie plots would be ruined by simply using a cellphone. The plot wouldn’t even really be ruined, so much that the movie would change from 90 minutes to 5 minutes. So here’s some movie plots that would end pretty abruptly with the simple use of a modern day smart phone.
Home Alone 1 & 2 - Oh Kevin, the lovable spoiled scamp who ends up “alone” at home when a couple of burglars arrive to rob his home blind. The whole plot of the first movie is that he believes he made his family disappear by simply wishing for it when they actually just went to Paris. Like any kid, he refuses to answer the phone? ok, well beyond that weak plot point if he had a cell phone he would have seen the caller ID of his mother’s phone. Movie over. Well, maybe not entirely over, there is still the whole burglar thing, well that could have been solved by getting neighbors help or… doing anything. As for the second Home Alone, same deal, cell phone call to her son and sending a ticket/cash through Google wallet to his Android Smart Phone or Gmail.
Romeo & Juliet (Modern Version) - There are dozens of movies of this classic play, but lets stick to the modern one made by the same guy who directed Moulin Rouge. All other versions of this movie take place in a time before cell phones existed, but this movie came out and modernized a classic well into the cell phone age. Smart phones were still pretty rare, but text via the over sized Nokia phones was pretty popular. Not to mention both families were super rich, so their children would probably have the best tech had to offer. A simple “hi Romeo, I totes took fake poison, don’t kill yourself, xoxo kthanksbye”.
Any Movie Based on Miscommunication/connections - I don’t need to pick one movie for this one, because before Cell Phones this plot device was used WAY too much. Some movies and tv shows continue to use this plot device. One show that always struck me was Seinfeld, which 95% of it’s plot lines would have been solved by texting someone. Though, to be fair to Seinfeld, it was airing near the beginning of the text age.
Die Hard - Before Live Free Die Hard, most of the events in every one of the Die Hard movies could have been prevented or avoided by the use of a Cell Phone. John calls the cops, says his name, they look up his record, “oh, you are a cop for reals, ok, we’ll be right there with some SWAT team vans”. Of course, after re-watching these movies recently, the plot seems to heavily depend on a cop, or security guard, being a huge jerk and an immense dolt, which no cell phone could fix really.
You’ve Got Mail - I don’t even need to bring Cell Phones into this, a simple Google search would have revealed who was who online. Besides, who just emails a random person online anymore? Ever since Match.com and OkCupid, everyone has a specific place to go for dating and meeting folks, and those places require pictures. The whole plot of this movie would have ended before it even began. Kathleen browses Match.com, see’s Joe’s profile “ew, no thanks” clicks next… The End.
Deliverance - Google Navigator…
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